NoBloPoMo, Reflections, self-discovery

Nature of the Beast (Day 14)

*** Please be advised that what follows constitutes a rant, so I ask you not to read this if you are easily offended or upset by such biased points of view.  I am not writing it to start a debate, but merely because I need to vent tonight, if only to relieve the pressure.  I will not respond to any comments seeking to drag me into a fight.  Period.  Nor will I be offended if you choose to not read it; actually, I will probably feel relieved, as this is not the version of me I like to express publicly.  You have been warned… ***

Today was Friday the 13th, an unlucky day by many beliefs, but always lucky for me.  I had a good day: I worked hard, finishing my work week, and looking forward to having tomorrow off. I got my necessary bills paid, did my errands, even got to stop off and see my pregnant daughter (both she and the baby are healthy – yay!); stopping at my daughter’s provided the added reward of seeing my grandson and picking up some home-cooked food for dinner (my daughter’s cooking always makes me feel grateful to be alive!).  I had been pleasantly distracted all day by what I wanted to write tonight, torn though I was between completing the next chapter of “Nemesis” and a poem that had been haunting me all day which celebrates life.

Both pieces of writing I was truly looking forward to, so it hardly counts as a dilemma; the hardest part being what to publish tonight, for I don’t have time to write both.  The poem is more ephemeral, and I know that if I fail to capture the words soon, they will be gone; such a loss does not appeal to me because the message and the mood are compelling.  The Nemesis  story, however, is quite exciting, and tonight was the night I was destined to truly “meet” my nemesis.  The conversation that had been haunting my thoughts since last night sounded fascinating in my head, providing two sides to both the faces of “good” and “evil.”; thus inadvertently fulfilling the minor mission objective of creating a somewhat sympathetic villain.

All happy, creative, productive things today, making me feel happy, creative and productive today.  And then I got home…

I walk into the house to discover that my cat has caught himself a mouse, and must have done so very recently given the condition of the little critter; for he was still quite active, and my cat was thoroughly enjoying toying with him.  I have heard it said that cats are the only other creatures besides humans who hunt for sport, and simply because they enjoy the game; they are also supposedly the only other non-human animal known to torture their prey before killing it.  And it seems to be true (by my experience anyway) that male cats are more likely to leave their prey broken and helpless, but not dead, while the females will torture and play, but almost always ensure the prey is dead before leaving it alone.

It is not a trait that I admire in my cat any more than I admire it in my fellow humans, and yet I love my cat dearly, and all cats for that matter.  So I accept him (and all of them) as they are, by telling myself it is the “nature of the beast,” and not my place to judge.  If this is how a cat’s instinct drives him to be, then who am I to try and question or change that behavior?  And, truth be told, I am grateful that he is such an experienced hunter, lest my house be overrun with mice as it was when we moved in…

And just before I settled down to write, I decided to check in with Facebook, just to see if anything of significance was happening with family or friends.  I started with an article about the corruption in the pharmaceutical industry, and how mentally ill patients are being cruelly abused in the name of personal and corporate greed; I was saddened but not shocked, knowing such activity is everywhere, and those who are guilty of perpetrating such crimes against humanity will never be punished for it, because they have all the power in today’s world.  There is no such thing as justice anymore, and everyday I look about my world I see more evidence of that; from petty quarrels over coffee cups, to animal cruelty, to political corruption and exemption from the law.   And it was then I started to see posts about Paris today…

Keep in mind that I do not watch TV news much, as I find it biased and inaccurate, and often times the inanity of what they report on, and the things they say, upset me much more than I care to stand.  So I choose to remain ignorant of most of what goes on, trusting that information I actually need will find its way to me.  Eventually.  And I have enough people in my life who know this about me, that I am lucky that it usually does, as those people can be counted on to pass on news of significance to me.  But I was not prepared to hear about the attacks on the people of Paris today…

OK, maybe not entirely true, if I am honest.  Just yesterday I’d had a vision during meditation of a youth walking with a large and loaded gun.  I never saw his/her face, but the purposefulness of the stride, and the way the gun swung confidently while they walked, led me to be concerned.  I suspected another mass shooting was about to occur, so I asked a couple people I know stay up on things to keep me in the loop if something should happen; but I also know, from past experience, that my issue with Time runs deep, and so often times these “visions” do not manifest in a timely enough fashion to actually mean anything at all.  And truthfully, I suspected shootings on a much smaller scale, like at a school or mall or such…  (How is it even possible to make such shootings seem so trivial??!)

This morning my meditation brought a vision of another as well, though this time it was a young girl playing happily in her room.  She couldn’t have been any older than 5 or 6, and she was playing make-believe with her dolls.  While I watched her, she sat back, glancing out the window behind her, then wrapped her arms around her knees, resting her chin on her knee caps, her whole demeanor darkening.  I felt sad, knowing somehow her whole life had just changed; the innocence of youth had fled before my eyes, and I knew there was nothing anyone could do to protect that child now from the harshness of a reality none of us can control…

And so…  Paris.

I felt nothing as the news began to trickle in to me; nothing but numb shock, and profound confusion.  How?  Why?


I could not cry at first, though I am certainly crying now as I write this, for I cannot comprehend the nature of this beast called terrorism… called humanity.  I understand the words, of course, and the method of making a point; I get why it works, generating fear and confusion, destroying complacency, making a statement loud enough for the whole world to hear.  But I do not understand the hearts of those who participate in such acts…  To take our individual rage out on strangers, whose only likely crime against us might be crossing our path, is simply incomprehensible to me, no matter how great one’s rage against society is.  I just don’t get that!  I cannot accept that – the cruelty, the permanence, the pointlessness; for if such violence was going to work to change the behavior of governments and the like, then surely some of the countless examples of such acts would have yielded some victories by now!  But the only victory is the creation of more enemies, and more senseless violence, and more innocent children whose lives are forever altered for the worst…

And so such violence is not about changing anything, is it?  It is only about acting as one wishes, expressing one’s power over another to pointless ends; the most extreme form of narcissism, in a world that celebrates self-aggrandizement at any cost.  I cannot find an ounce of compassion in my soul for creatures that act in this manner, for they make the darkest villain I can imagine seem like a saint in comparison!

But I can accept my cat…

And so I become guilty of the kind of hypocrisy I so detest, for this attitude flies in the face of everything that I believe.  I believe that we are all One, more alike than we are different in the end.  I believe that we each should live our lives according to our own natures, free of judgment.  I believe that we teach and test one another by reflecting to each other the lessons we most need to learn.  I believe that each of us has value in this world today, and are deserving of love and compassion…  But I can not believe any of that right now, in the face of such an horrific attack against innocents…

And there are even sadder facts to digest, for as terrible as these acts in Paris are, they pale in comparison to what is happening to people all around the world; voiceless victims are everywhere – in Africa, the Middle East, the streets of Europe, the villages of South America, and here in my own country, in the streets of the very city in which I live, considered one of the most dangerous places to live in America today.  And the crimes against humanity are fueled and funded by my own government, whom I did not elect, and who have been shown to be guilty of countless crimes here (including treason), but who have never faced or feared “justice”!  And yet they are, in part, funded by me, doing my very best to be an honorable, upright citizen who goes to work, and pays my taxes and my bills.  I pay to support such violence and upheaval in the world!!!

And people ask me if I cannot imagine a scenario when I might be tempted to employ such violence myself?  And I honestly do not know the answer…  For I have certainly felt such violence in my soul, times when I would gladly have killed another, times I would have wanted to see them suffer first, and I’m not sure I would have truly regretted it had I acted on those desires.  Because if these people out there, fighting for their “beliefs” are in any way correct, then their actions are justified within their own minds.  In the name of religion, politics, greed and revenge, they are sanctified and holy in perpetrating such intolerance and forcing their opinion down the throats of all who disagree!  And each and every one of them is a reflection of me!…

Perhaps it is the nature of the beast, after all.  Perhaps we are all damned, and doomed to self-destruct, taking down as much life as possible along the way.  Perhaps that is just the way it is today.  And there is no hope for any of us…  For while there may be “good” people out there, doing incredibly “good” things, that light seems so insignificant when weighed against the shadow consuming our world today.  Perhaps the best thing us “good” people could do is to die today, and let evil have its way.  For clearly we cannot stop it; we can’t even slow it down, and I, personally, have grown weary of bearing witness to their journeys, for it weighs heavily on my soul to admit we are related…

But worse for me is owning that we are indeed One, and if I were to die today and be absorbed back into that grander Self, then I, myself, would be responsible for the havoc wreaked today.

All of it…

And that’s exactly how I feel in this moment, right or wrong…

And yes, I’m glad that mouse is dead!  I killed it, after all…


28 thoughts on “Nature of the Beast (Day 14)

  1. rawgod says:

    Dearest Lisa,
    I know there is nothing I can say or do to make all the negativity in the world acceptable, or understandable. But this is the error I mentioned in another place, the error of The One Life, when it first divided. Because it felt nothing, because it knew nothing, because it “was nothing,” it had no idea what there was or what there could be. As it first became Other, and met Another, which of us can imagine how that may have felt. I picture great joy, like being able to look into a mirror and see yourself reflected back at you. And for as long as Other was always created my “mytosis” (I think is the word that describes a cell splitting to create an exact replica of itself,”) I think joy had to be the perpetual feeling of existence. But joy became boring after the first few hundred million years, and change became necessary again, like the first change, the creation of Other. Now there were millions of Others, but they were all still the same Other, and there was no telling one Other from Another Other…
    It would take too long to go through the process change by change, but while changes may have been needed, there was no way they could be planned or controlled. So they just happened, and once they started to happen, they just kept on happening. And the only way to say a change was positive or not was if it stayed alive and reproduced. But what was positive in the beginning kept on changing until eventually it became negative, but since there was no one to judge positive or negative, they just kept on changing…
    And the world changed… and life changed… but still there is only The One Life, and we are the Others that must bring life back to itself, and know that it will be positive… because WE cannot let it be negative…

    Liked by 1 person

    • So… if I am reading you correctly, Jerry, you see Life expressing Itself through something akin to Darwin’s Evolution theory touched by Chaos Theory… where random mutations (some positive, some negative) replicate over Time to create what we know as life (small “l”). Those replications randomly effect/direct future mutations (changes) leading to where we are now – caught up in a battle of sorts, where “good” seeks to rein in “bad”… That you believe such is possible is a rare and powerful gift of self I have not yet achieved…

      For me, the first split (that mytosis you speak of, which seems an apt analogy to me), created the dichotomy simply by occurring. Where One was, Two now existed and though identical in essence, they were different in form. That “different-ness” was itself the “problem”, damning All of Creation to live in Duality, determining that every thing that came into existence from that point on also brought forth its opposite. And since we carry our opposites within us, as part of us, we are therefore doomed to encounter its expression everywhere…

      In other words, the kinder and gentler I am, the more likely I am to encounter meanness and violence. To mitigate such suffering, I must move closer to the darkness within me, rather than run from it…

      Just my thoughts at this time…


      • rawgod says:

        Except for the “battle of sorts” you seem to understand me quite well. This part of my understanding actually goes against the grain of “good vs bad” or “positive vs negative.” This is not so much a battle as a condition of life, which we (the Others) have chosen to judge as good or bad, and as much as I am on the side of good, or positives, the other side is not really bad or negative despite all the violence and hatred they bring into this world. This is a very touchy subject for most people, because our cultures& come from a Puritan background with very obvious black and white judgments. But really those people, those Others, are but playing out the roles they happened to fall into. For The One Life to make such a determination of how it wants to live, now that it knows negatives can and do exist, it has to explore them as fully as it explores everything else.
        In your Nature of the Beast discussion, you end up siding with the cat who played with the mouse until it was barely left alive. I did the same when I was about 10 years old. I had a wily old cat who caught not only rats, but jack rabbits, and dragged them home as presents to me. He ate the heads, and gave me the rest of the carcass. But when it came to mice, they were not worthy foes. He could capture them without hardly trying,, and he played with them till they literally died from fear. And if they died too soon he would not eat them. And I too was proud of him for those traits, because I came from a world of the strong conquering the weak. It made no other sense to me. (It does now, but that is another matter.)
        Suffice it to say, the cat is not an essentially bad animal. And neither are those who are violent and breed hatred and such. They are the other sides of the Other’s coins. I for one cannot condemn them for being what life needs them to be. However, I can fight them in whatever way I can, because they cannot be allowed to believe they are on the positives side.
        I do not know if anyone else in this world can accept my understanding of this part of Life, this role of certain Others. But Life itself still knows no right and wrong, so who are we to try to do what Life cannot.
        Yet we try…

        Liked by 1 person

      • This conversation is “forcing” me to take a sharp look and concepts I’ve more or less always taken for granted.

        Quote: “But Life itself still knows no right and wrong, so who are we to try to do what Life cannot.”

        One who has pondered the concept LIFE must admit it is not possible to know Life’s source. We don’t know what Life really is so how can we know Life knows no right and wrong? But instead of debating something unknowable, lets’ get into the context: Life, here, now, in our known reality. It knows right and wrong and it uses every possible method and way to make this abundantly clear.

        This brings me to the concept of the Force in Star Wars. The Force has a dark side as well as a light side. Good and Evil emanating from just one Force. Let’s stop there. What if there are not one Force, but two, ever vying to subdue and supplant one-another, the dark side succeeding in some place and time and vice versa. What if that is the case with what we call Life, which we used to call God? God had to deal with Satan and even though God claimed superior powers he could not overcome evil. Telling, that.

        Duality then is not made up of one Force having two sides, but actually two totally separate and inimical forces. Therefore I could say that it so happens Force Evil has managed long ago to seduce this universe to its way of doing things. Most sentient life in it fell prey to this seduction, or was violently coerced into playing supportive roles. Ever since then Force Good has been attempting to overthrow Force Evil and we who are equipped with conscience and morals have been taking sides and fighting for one or the other. This situation, it appears, is coming to a head on planet earth.

        Now let’s see of the puzzle comes together.

        Liked by 1 person

      • rawgod says:

        I have to disagree here with you, S’T, based not on whether I think you are right or wrong, but based on my understanding of The One Life, which was never a god, all the way back to its unknowable inception into this realm we call a universe, and I do not mean the physical universe, but the universe that was and is The One Life.
        As I said in an earlier comment, Life was such that it did not know it even existed for some expanse it did not know as time. What I am going to speculate here, as I have in other places, it was like being born into a sensory deprivation tank. Unless there is an even bigger universe out there that we have no way of seeing or knowing (and I am not denying the possibility of such a super-realm), Life had no parents, no siblings, no nanny, no toys, no Nothing, or Only Nothing. There was nothing to tell it that it was even alive. There was nothing to compare anything to. It existed, but it had no awareness of that existence. How it came to that awareness, and how long it took to gain that awareness, no one including Life could know. But somehow it appears it became self-aware, but still there was nothing else to be aware of. So, #1, Awareness of existence.
        Inevitably it would next become aware of its uniqueness, that there was no other life around it. This brings #2, Awareness of loneliness. To cut this process to the chase, and I am not going to suggest I even think I can guess every step, #3 was the Awareness of Need, in particular the need for an other, or as Lisa puts it, an Other. This need somehow brought division of the one into two, then 4, then 8, using our understanding of arithmetic, which may or may not be right. (Have you read Dawkin’s “The Blind Watchmaker”? There is a possible scenario for the becoming into being of life in the physical universe, IF you postulate The One Life, and if you postulate the above awarenesses.)

        Are you willing to follow me this far into the world of speculative fiction, S’T.? One being divided into many, no knowledge yet of anything, no place, no time, no opposing forces, no right, no wrong, a big fat lot of nothing, except life? If you are I will continue. If not, there is no need at this time to go on..?

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      • I’m all for discussion. What you are telling “me” here is not new to me. I’ve been down that path and through that meadow myself. But there’s the catch: we need to make a HUGE assumption that “Life” was (existed) while there was “a big fat lot of nothing” besides. I can no longer support that contention because the trigger, the smoking gun, is entirely missing. “If” Life had been going on surrounded by its big fat lot of nothing for endless timelessness the only sure thing we can say it, that could not change. There had to be a catalyst, and one so obvious no one can see it apart from inventing a “God” who in turn would invent duality so that “Life” could proceed as we have come to interpret it today. The missing key: catalyst.

        Since the God concept no longer makes any sense (it never did but people like to believe in it regardless) then that leaves “Life” without its necessary catalyst so it could become self aware. The other problem right there is that “Life” had to be self aware, yet could not be if it was immersed in nothing. To me that spells mega conundrum.

        The logical explanation is that there are two “Life Force” more or less equal in power, vying for control and supremacy, extant throughout the Cosmos. I’ve got to give that some “think” before I proceed.

        Liked by 1 person

      • rawgod says:

        Hi S’T,
        I guess it is all a matter of terms and definitions, but I still see no place for opposing forces at the beginning of life, especially since it predates the Big Bang Theory by at least one segment of time, if not more.
        As for me, when I was in the spiritual realm of disembodied spirits, the one thing I did not feel or experience, was anything at all negative stemming from anywhere but incoming Others, many of whom needed healing. I had not realized this until today, but I can look back at all my writings from the morning after, and the intervening years, and no where are there indications of non-positives. The ether, or whatever you want to call the fabric of space, was filled with beauty beyond belief. Colour, sound, sight, feeling, all those things were expressions of beauty in ways so far beyond physical sensibilities that to picture them now fills me with all the wonder of life, and I thank you for bringing this back to my attention.
        Earlier today I was really bummed about how lonely Life felt at the time it became aware of itself, but now you have given me back the awe I feel when my memories return to the space beyond reality. And it is because of this I believe so strongly that positivity will witness the end of negativity, or however you want to describe those feelings and/or forces. Those things may and probably do exist in this physical realm we now occupy, but they remain here. As far as I can see, these are human inventions, just like god is a human invention. Spirituality is a whole different realm…

        Liked by 1 person

      • I need to respond to this, Sha’Tara, but I’m not sure how. Lol!

        Yes, seeing the dynamic struggle between good and evil does give context, does allow one a wealth of avenues to explore explaining what is. Are we to assume they are equally powerful, or is one innately more than the other? To assume they are equal ensures only temporary victories can be won, as Balance demands a reckoning. Even if it’s only that evil wins here and good wins somewhere else. In which case the whole point becomes the struggle itself, with both sides having valuable lessons to teach. We do our good stint, then practice being evil, etc…

        Why should Balance have authority over the two? No particular reason that I can think of other than an intuitive belief that everything seeks balance in this Universe. But that is no doubt my mono-bias (my love of One) asserting itself once more on a perceived duality. Lol!

        Serious question, though. Easy to see good vs. evil all around, but what is Life battling with? Death? Nothingness? My brain will not settle on a suitable and “equally” powerful opposite force. Death seems most obvious, but all living creatures appear to die eventually, making death more powerful than life can ever be. Unless immortality is a thing that one can achieve… hmm…


      • Quote: “what is Life battling with?” How about battling with life only the evil twin? When we go on about life since we know so little having such a short memory span and most of our “past” is blocked we make truly unbelievable assumptions. Personally I grow tired of assumptions, particularly the Christian and New Agey ones. I say, ‘Back it up, folks. Show me, don’t tell me.’ I wonder why it’s so difficult to simply accept the evidence before our senses and take the Teachers’ observation as the true one: as below, so above. Ah but that isn’t very romantic, or esoteric is it. Imagine a universe that resembles EXACTLY


      • Quote: “what is Life battling with?” How about battling with life, only the good/evil twin? When we go on about life since we know so little having such a short memory span and most of our “past” being blocked we make truly unbelievable assumptions. Personally I grow tired of assumptions, particularly the Christian and New Agey ones. I say, ‘Back it up, folks. Show me, don’t tell me.’ I wonder why it’s so difficult to simply accept the evidence before our senses and take the Teachers’ observation as the true one: as below, so above. Ah but that isn’t very romantic, or esoteric is it. Imagine a universe that resembles EXACTLY the way things are happening on earth. As on earth, so in the rest of the universe. This goes against the grain of those who want to believe earth and its numbties is somehow special, and the opposite camp that believes that from “out there” will come our salvation while we do absolutely nothing to make it happen. Two deadly beliefs: we’re too good to need changing, or we’re too stupid to be able to change so god, Jesus, aliens, elves, fairies, whales, whomever, whatever, is going to bring that about. Anybody else but us chicken.
        What I mean is, look, we’ve gotten this far and evolved that much of a brain/mind and understanding. Could we put that to work?

        Liked by 1 person

      • So, you are saying that there are others here whose purpose is to live the negative? That fits with a number of theories I’ve read about the role of “evil” in the world. But, like so many things, the more we abstract from reality (move from individual incidents to general classifications), the easier it is to accept such things. Not right or wrong; just another way of coping. I can respect that, as I use such methodology myself…

        And rationally, it doesn’t make sense to judge another’s motive based on my perspective, experience, personal bias or morality. Yet still I do… *sigh*


      • rawgod says:

        You’re human, I’m human, what can we say? I don’t believe in capital OR corporeal punishment, yet there are moments when I wish some people would be locked up and the key thrown away. But then I remember, you don’t help anyone change by such methods. Give them respect, help them learn how to take responsibility for their actions, no matter what influenced them to do a thing, and you give them the tools to change. It’s all a matter of sticking to your beliefs, and focusing on the now. Everyone is capable of change. ..

        Liked by 1 person

      • rawgod says:

        Truly spoken, but even then, change can happen sometimes whether you are ready or not, and whether you are willing or not. It can be that a person is in the right place at the right time for circumstances to change, and this changes that person’s perspective, and they are forced to change to accommodate the new reality. Chaos happens every day, we just don’t normally notice it till it is long past.
        Chaos introduced us, and I’m glad it did…


  2. Falling behind on replies here. Hmm, to Jerry and quote: ” And it is because of this I believe so strongly that positivity will witness the end of negativity, or however you want to describe those feelings and/or forces. Those things may and probably do exist in this physical realm we now occupy, but they remain here. As far as I can see, these are human inventions, just like god is a human invention. Spirituality is a whole different realm…”
    Problem: assumption. Why is the modern world so afraid, all of a sudden, of dealing with the reality of good and evil? That rings a lot of bells with me. Fear or denial? Let me put it to you this way, why would humanity “invent” evil if it does not exist at source? I have to go with the Teachers on this: they and many other ISSA being escaped from evil (the Time Lords) by developing ways to literally move their worlds out of this universe into a “non-place” they call the Nexus. It was a matter of life and death and they had seen enough death to know their turn was soon. They got away and the evil that now haunts earth spread throughout the universe, conquering, subduing and enslaving. Billions of years and dummied down and beaten up humanity changed. It accepted the new reality of good and evil and learned to make allowances, or alliances, with the forces of evil emanating from the Time Lords.
    It is possible for someone, I suppose, to jump past the domination of Time Lords and briefly experience a state of pre-evil bliss where as you say, there is no negativity. But where is the real reality? It is here, in what we experience don’t you think? The corruption; the greed; the mass murders of war machinery and the general “love” people have for violence: that cannot be denied or ignored except at the peril of losing our humanity in it. That is the goal of the Time Lords: to destroy conscience and morality. Certainl they are doing a great job of it on this dummied-down planet. When I propose “compassion” as a force capable of destroying evil what do I get? Scoffing. People, even intelligent ones, simply do not want to believe that they can change themselves. That they could simply decide to live compassionately. They would rather play the Time Lord games. So, someone like me eventually says, fine, go for it. I have nothing else to give you and if I did you wouldn’t want it in any case.
    In closing this comment, let me say that I cannot understand how any observing individual could say that evil does not exist, or blame it on the numbnuts who call themselves “humans” that are in the process of destroying the only world theyhave to survive on. These mutants could never have invented evil: it it part of the genetics; DNA. Programming, and they’re just going through the motions, based on emotions.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Trying to keep it reasonable. As I push myself further away from the “normal” to attempt a deeper understanding of all that which we call “life” I discover new ways of interacting with “Others”. Lately, after reading your explanations, then Jerry’s, the fascinating back and forth, I am realizing that we are living in a state of endless possibilities which means each one of us, however many billions there be, can actually experience their own and complete life entirely other than anyone else. We are free to experience our own life any way we choose, if we so choose. You have developed/discovered a way of interacting with “Others”. Jerry has his own insight from travels in the astral. I have my own understanding and interpretation which is mine, no one else’s, nor does it need be, or should be. Next stage in our spiritual/mental evolution: each one of us has a completely personal, private path that only interacts with that of another by personal choice, as in, hey her way is interesting, I’m going to try that. It may or may not happen, but meanwhile the chosen personal path remains untouched. This is now moving beyond any religious teaching and beyond all collective teaching. This is the next level of personal freedom emanating from the practice of self empowerment. Here’s hoping that makes sense, and if you were closer I’d be toasting you with a nice dry white wine! 😉


  3. To Lisa’s comment, and quote: ” Not right or wrong; just another way of coping. I can respect that, as I use such methodology myself… And rationally, it doesn’t make sense to judge another’s motive based on my perspective, experience, personal bias or morality. Yet still I do… *sigh*

    Another trick of the Time Lords in dis-empowerment: convince you (or anyone) that judgement is wrong. Says who? I judge all things but draw the line at condemnation: that part is none of my business. Judgement is discernment. Call a spade a spade and be done. No political correctness; no newspeak or readjustment of terms that the current rank and file (academia) finds objectionable: screw academia and it’s BS propaganda. A thing is what it is and it isn’t something else and no matter how we change the descriptive words the substance of the thing isn’t changed.
    How do we know right from wrong, and can there be a right for me that is a wrong for you? Bull shit! There isn’t; there never was, but we have been let down the slippery slope away from our human and humanitarian sense of morality. Any “human” can tell right from wrong and it will be the same right or wrong for all of humanity across the universe. Wrong it that which causes loss, pain, or death to another for my personal benefit. It’s that simple. Right is always putting the other’s needs ahead of mine. It’s that simple. But in our utterly inhuman and inhumane predatory capitalistic civilization that simplicity is buried under tons of detritus of false explanations and expectations, turning the world into a massive death camp which those that still remain outside the razor wire compound like to rationalize as “necessary” to promote (take your pick) the will of god, Christianity, balanced trade, democracy, even humanity. When lies have trumped all truth, anything goes. When there are no longer any white and black and everything has been turned to gray… you are looking at entropy: the end of civilization. That’s is where we are.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. rawgod says:

    Sorry, ladies, I have no proof, either from my side, or from your side. If your teachers come to me and say, we are from Sha’Tara, and we have come to show you the Nexus, I will be open to listening. But for now, based on my experiences described above, duality does not extend beyond death for me, only The One Life extends beyond death, and that to me means the lives of all living beings.
    Reality, for me, is not on this Earth, no matter who or what tries to tell me that. Reality takes place not on Earth, not in the Nexus, but in The One Life, even though know one in our realms of possibilities can define what that Life is, or even what life is.
    You say if life started out as not self-aware, it could never have achieved self-awareness, not without a catalyst. So let us return to Earth for a moment and look at what happens to life as we know it. First comes the creation of the life, some by mytosis, some by sexual conjugation. Either way, the living thing is tiny, one sperm and one ova in the sexual method, or a germ splitting itself in half via mytosis. Either way, the life is small, certainly smaller than its parents or parent. Then it starts to grow, all on its own. As it grows it ages. Here I can no longer speak for germs, I haven’t had the honour of speaking to any yet. But when it comes to sexually-produced life, the being grows, and grows rapidly. And it ages. Then the egg cracks, or the fetus is born. Oxygen is now necessary for life, and whether it breathes the air, or sucks oxygen out of the soil or water, life continues, and this means growth continues, and aging continues.
    Now I have to switch to human life, as it is the only species I can easily communicate with without having to make assumptions. Kids grow up, around 12 or 13 they stop relying on the “authorities” in their life, and they start to achieve self-awareness in almost all cases. What are you going to say is the catalyst for humans achieving self-awareness? Is it their teaching? Is it their human interactions? Or is it just the way life happens… I believe that left to itself, no matter how it is brought up, self-Awareness is just part of life, catalyst or no catalyst. And self-awareness would be part of The One Life’s life-cycle the same as it is ours. No catalyst is needed other than growth, or aging. And those two things are automatic.
    I think you can see where I am going from here.
    And since it is in this non-physical realm where The One Life exists, this is where reality exists. The One Life does not exist here on Earth, those it sub-divided into Others do in all their species and individuals. But spiritually they are all still The One Life, and The One Life cannot know more than its “Others” know, or it would have to be a god. And I believe we all agree, there is no god…


    • Good “cause and effect” argument, Jerry, except for one thing: comparing the One Life within the nothingness becoming self aware to the engendering of physical life. In the engendering, you have plenty of causes, everything but nothingness. So if we were sitting down at a meeting discussing this, I would bring “ya all” back to the beginning again… and again… and ask for the smoking gun. When a human (or any child) is engendered, there is plenty of smoking gun. Smoking something anyway. A very long time ago when the earth was green… and my boyfriend (a farm boy) had inadvertently left some loose Eddy matches in his jean pockets and we were getting quite, uh, hot… the matches lit and his pants were on fire. I took credit, what do you expect… but the jump into the nearby creek brought our steamy episode to a cool and damp end. Back to the A&W for a root beer!

      However, and there is always an however, you are absolutely correct to not take any statements at face value without solid evidence. I have no use for faith either.


      • rawgod says:

        On Earth there is usually a smoking gun, but we still don’t know if a tree falling in the forest with no one or no thing to hear it makes a sound. We can assume it does, but…
        As for The One Life, I have already admitted I have no idea of where it came from, but this I take this as true because my memory left ver from my “visits to the edge of life” all include the memory of The One Life, and before I ever went there I could not even havmagined such a thing. After all, my ego told me I was alive, independent, and self-aware. I was on a journey to either find god, or to find there was no god. I had searched all kinds of religion and philosophies for Truth, but there was none to be found. Buddhism was the only one I felt halfway made sense, as long as the Buddha was taken as a man, and not a god. I never became a Buddhist, I never became anything once I left christianity behind, and I only had that as long as I believed the authorities in my young life. But nothing I found in my searches prepared me for what I found at death’s door. And the memories I have of that day, and what I learned from gradually growing to accept them as true memories I will never forget or unlearn. To me they are solid evidence, but I have no way to make it solid for anyone else. Nor do I want to.
        Your beliefs are your beliefs, as Lisa’s are Lisa’s. I do not want to tamper with them.
        And even though I have found my Truth, I will not give it to anyone as their Truth, because you and Lisa all have to find your Truths for your own selves. That too is what I learned at the intersection of life and death. On Earth, truth is relative. It cannot be any other way. No one can have the same experiences as anyone else, even if you are joined at the hlp from birth to death. And your experiences are what give you your Truth, but that truth will never be anyone else’s Truth. It is not possible.
        And I am sorry for saying that, Lisa, because I know how much you want there to be Truth in this life. But, it is my opinion, since this life is not itself real, there cannot be One Real Truth in it…
        But feel free to call me a liar, I can live with that.


      • Hi Jerry, without equivocation I agree with you that there is no truth “here” but for me that takes it all the way to the beginning, which itself does not exist: there is no beginning, or perhaps one could say, there are no endings, only endless new beginnings or perhaps they are new awakenings, each one to a temporary set of truths which must be discarded if we are to create our own new truths from our own new awakenings. Something like that.


      • rawgod says:

        Some kind of beginning must exist, it is just beyond human comprehension of what we mean as beginning. Even our universe seems to have a beginning if the scientists are right about the Big Bang, but that still gives no explanation on how or why the Big Bang happened. I presume it could be tied into the start of life in our realm, but again and still beyond our comprehension. Maybe you’re even right that there is no beginning, or it could be that the universe itself is life since it seems to have had a beginning, it has grown from that beginning (and is still growing according to those same scientists), and is definitely in the process of aging. But since the time process is so far beyond our ability to comprehend, it is possible we are still in a super-mega-giant womb and the life we know hasn’t even been born yet. Wouldn’t that be something?
        But whatever, we are alive, so unless we are all figments of each others’ fantasies and delusions, life exists, whatever it is and however it works. The rest, at best, is pure speculation, as I think you said somewhere. But what the hell, whoever you are, I like you anyways…


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