A View of the Spectrum: United “Ism’s”?

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but I want you, my friends, to know it’s not because of some creative block or related malady; rather, I have been suffering from a severe case of the whin-ies, which I really didn’t want immortalized on the internet.  And since I couldn’t seem to find my way out of them, I chose silence instead…

You see, I consider myself an Optimist, for the most part.  I can find “good” in almost every situation or person I encounter.  I don’t know if it’s a learned skill, or a simple reflection of my nature, or maybe some combination of the two.  But I do know it’s who I am today…

That being said, I don’t see myself as overly optimistic; I mean, my sunglasses are dark, not rosy pink.  It’s not that I don’t see the darker aspects of life, but rather that I choose not to focus on them.  Usually…  In this regard, I see myself as a Realist.  I know that not everything is good, or meant to be good; I am an incarnated spirit living in a world of matter, so Duality seems to be intrinsic to the very process of existing in the here and now.  But I believe that by focusing on the positive, by feeling grateful and compassionate towards others, I improve both the quality of my own life and the interaction I share with others…

I am also aware that I’m touched by a bit of Hedonism, drawn strongly toward things that feel good, as evidenced by my history of addiction.  And let’s face it, optimism feels better than either pessimism or realism on some days…

And if you’ve read any of my prior work, you will no doubt have noted the influence of Existentialism, even if that’s not what you would choose to call it…  Things are what they are some times.  Period…

But lately I’ve been driven by a deep-rooted Pessimism, tainted heavily with a fatalistic nihilism: what’s the point of all this?  Why even bother? (Not blogging, mind you, as that has its own reward; I’m referring to Life in general here.)

But over the past few days, I’ve been inundated with rainbows, of all things.  I’m seeing them almost every day, and it hasn’t even been raining that much.  Just two days ago I found a rainbow in a clear blue sky; I had to call a co-worker out to verify the sighting to make sure I hadn’t imagined it.  And it was there, glorious and bright!

And music.  Everywhere.  I find myself humming tunes I don’t even know.  But it happens so unconsciously that becoming aware of it feels like an afterthought…  Weird…

So what am I to take from all this, I ask myself?  What is the message the Universe is trying to communicate to me?

The most obvious answer seems to be that Life, and outlook, run according to a spectrum, a scale.  We sentient beings have the innate ability to view the entire spectrum and experience its variability, simultaneously and without contradiction…

Is it a contradiction that I think people are worth saving, at the same time I wish many would just disappear?  Is it hypocrisy to believe that “things” need to change, while I retain my habits and lifestyle?  Is it counterintuitive to hope for a miracle, when I, myself, currently have so little faith?

I’m not sure, really…  

Right now I am content to hunt those rainbows and cherish that unfamiliar music that appears randomly, while I ride the spectrum of “ism’s” to see what I might learn…

What do you suppose are the chances I might just find a pot of gold?