Reflections, Visions

Cascade… Blocked!

There is an experience I occasionally have that I have affectionately named a “cascade.”  It is a revelatory moment that becomes an epiphany that alters every aspect of my life.  As you may know (if you’ve read more than a post or two here), I tend to explore topics on multiple levels (researching, analyzing, feeling them out), and I tend to explore multiple topics simultaneously, never being content with simple 1+1 kinds of equations.  Sometimes those tendencies lead me into murky places from which I struggle to escape, and other times, they allow me to make connections I might have otherwise missed.

There are rare occasions, however, when the “results” of several such “investigations” suddenly coalesce into a single, blinding moment of revelation, where their connections become apparent, and their implications become immediate and pressing.  The experience is akin to putting together a jigsaw puzzle.  You study several individual pieces carefully, learning the subleties of color, shape and size, pondering how they might fit together.  And then someone hands you the box with the completed picture on it, and you suddenly “get” it, knowing exactly where they belong in the big picture!  And so begins the cascade…

Because as you place those pieces in the puzzle, you are suddenly reminded of other pieces you glanced at but rejected, knowing now, of course, exactly where and how they fit together.  And the more pieces you fit together, the more connections you remember, until the puzzle seems to be constructing itself, and you are only the tool being used to reunite the whole…

What distinguishes a “cascade” from other revelatory experiences for me is the speed and breadth of the discoveries made.  In fact, it doesn’t gain the title until those revelations/connections begin occurring so rapidly that I can no longer consciously follow them; it’s like the neurons in my brain are firing so rapidly, in so many directions at once, that all I can do is sit back and allow the experience to run its course with as little interference as possible.  I know, from past such experiences, that all will be revealed in time.  It might take days, weeks or years for me to fully comprehend the full scope of the changes, but those changes (to my knowledge, personality, and motivations) will be immediate and permanent; the only task being to discover how they have changed.  Until the next cascade occurs…

So…  yesterday.

I set out to explore the world as a newborn child, seeking the wonder and awe of discovery, defying the “rules” of science and society.  But, of course, I had to do grown up things, like go to work.  The miraculous was everywhere, evidenced by moments great and small, and synchronicity ruled the day…

There was, for example, the moment I got “lost” at work.  Trying to get back to my desk, I wandered left instead of right, and found myself standing on the sales floor.  I was annoyed.  Being a bad pain day for me, I had been forced to use my cane at work (which I never, ever do); but it was that, or risk falling, as my hips could not maneuver or carry me without aid.  So I stood there, berating myself for the unnecessary steps I’d now added to my journey, and glanced up, just in time to see a man approaching me.  He looked relieved as he said to me, “oh good!  Maybe you can help me!”

Turns out I could; in fact, I would have been paged out to the floor for that express purpose had he encountered another staff member first.  Our staff is well versed on many different crafts and hobbies, but we each possess our particular areas of expertise.  If our customers require knowledge or input from an “expert,” we will page that person, assuring our customers get the best information we can provide at this time.  This man had questions, and needed demonstrations from one of my expert fields.  Had I made it to my desk, I would have had to backtrack to meet with him anyway…

Then there was the moment my boss apologized to me for snapping at me, though he was angry about something else…  It’s not unusual for him to do so, if there is a genuine confusion about why he snapped; my boss is actually quite “human” in that regard (lol!).  What made this different was that I understood in the moment that his frustration wasn’t directed at me, and I felt the same way; it didn’t occur to me to take it personally.  I was so shocked (and pleased) by his apology, that all I could think of to say in response was, “thank you for acknowledging that.”  And I meant it…

Then came last break (4pm), and the overwhelming compulsion to contact a friend I hadn’t seen in a while and invite her to dinner.  Bear in mind, that I didn’t want to go anywhere after work; I just wanted to be done.  But bless her for agreeing to meet me, and for naming the meeting place as the place I vaguely wanted to go.  And so dinner plans were made at the last minute (meeting at 6:30).

I was late getting out of work, and so knew I’d be late arriving, but I headed out anyway, pulling into the restaurant at the precise moment my car clock turned over to 6:30.  How I got across town, through all that traffic and traffic lights in 10 minutes remains a mystery; I suppose that falls under the “defying science” header.  A pleasant dinner ensued, presented by a pleasant server we’d never encountered there before.  Of course, we don’t usually go there on Mondays.  (As it turns out, he doesn’t usually work Mondays, either, being called in at the last minute to begin his shift at 6pm)…

As dinner progressed, we discovered more and more about our young server, and much of it was what we had in common.  Turns out he was feeling a bit lost these days, and felt he was missing some vital “connection” that he didn’t know where to begin looking for.  As the three of us began finishing each others’ sentences and thoughts, I understood exactly why we had all gathered; synchronicity at its best.  (This, by the way, was exactly how I met the friend I was dining with, as I was “led” into the shop she worked in, on a whim, exactly one year ago this week.)

I felt the cascade beginning, as we began tripping over each other with each new connection snapping into place.  I mentioned it to my friend, when our server needed to walk away for a moment, suggesting we should leave before it developed further.  And though we have never discussed what a “cascade” is, nor ever used that terminology in any other context, she knew exactly what I was talking about and agreed.  We tried to leave.  We did.  But we did not succeed, at least not yet…

* Flashback: (a necessary evil to explain what happens next).  Earlier that morning, I received a random message (while brushing my teeth… lol!).  A voice, clear as day, told me “all you are missing now is the Knight and King of Wands” (Tarot cards, for those unfamiliar with the terms.)  I actually laughed at the time, asking impishly if my purpose now was to create my own deck; then quickly dismissed it as irrelevant in the moment.

* Flash Foward:  My friend and I are standing in the restaurant, and I’m trying desperately to get us out of there, going so far as to lay hands upon her to encourage her to move, but stopping short of actually dragging her out.  Cascades are overwhelming enough, when experienced alone, but when shared with Others…  Let’s just say a public place where one of us is actually on the clock, is not really the best place to experience it.  And the urge to escape was strangling me…

Suddenly I turned around and said to them, “I don’t know who this applies to, but I sense the Chariot strongly around us” (another Tarot card).  My friend started to interpret that, while our new friend looked me dead in the eye and said, “interesting.  I was just told my card is the King of Wands.”

I turned and walked away without response, paying our bill and leaving as quickly as possible.  (For the record, we had already exchanged contact info, so we could all reconnect at a later time.)

I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t think.  I couldn’t focus on anything.  “I’m in shock,” I told myself, as I struggled to focus enough to drive home.  I fully expected the cascade to continue once I was safely alone, at home.  But it did not.  Nor has it since.  And all I have is the feeling of pressure, the knowing that it must complete, even if I don’t know when or how it will occur…

And the message for those of you who followed this story to its current resting point is this:  open defiance is an opportunity the Universe cannot resist responding to, as it will almost always rise to whatever challenge you place before it…

Or, in more common vernacular, be careful what you pray for because you might just get it!

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