The Senior’s Menu (#BlogBattles – Shift) (Attempt #2)

Here’s my second attempt at this month’s topic, aiming at being under the limit… And the link.


True story…

I turned 55 last month. Might not seem like a big deal to many people, but I’ve been waiting for this moment since I turned 50. Why? Because now I qualify for some senior discounts!!

The last 5 years have been downright traumatic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a restaurant or store when some well-meaning (and young!) cashier asked me if I was 55 yet. After struggling to do the math in my head, and answering no, I would be compelled to ask why?

“Oh. That’s too bad,” they would answer with predictable sweetness. “We have discounts for seniors here if you’re 55 or older.” The sad smile that followed would get me every time!

Grrrr…. “Senior?! Me?! No way!… I may be a grandmother of two, true. I may hobble around like my 91 year old co-worker. But I don’t think like an old person! At most, my maturity level can’t be much over 45, right?!”

“Have a nice day, ma’m,” they’d add, to get me to move along. The fact that I was already moving as fast as I could didn’t even occur to them…

So… Now it’s happened! I’m finally 55! Woohoo! Discounts, here I come…

I’m out to dinner with a friend of mine this past weekend, perusing the menu, trying to decide what looks good, but nothing is appealing to me. I close the menu and set it aside for a moment while I contemplate my choices. And that’s when I notice the back cover.

“Senior’s Menu – 55 and Older”

Oh yeah! I’d forgotten all about that! After all, my birthday had been a couple of weeks ago by then…

“Hey, I can order off the Senior’s Menu!,” I tell my friend excitedly. “Let’s see what they’ve got…

“One egg, 2 slices of bacon or sausage, and a slice of toast…

“A half sandwich and a cup of soup…

“Wait! What is this about?!,” I cried out.

My friend laughed at me. “The Senior’s Menu is about smaller portion sizes. You didn’t know that?”

“Well, no,” I responded honestly. “I wasn’t 55 yet, so it didn’t apply to me.”

It was in that moment that so many hopeful expectations came crashing down around me…

Reality check: I may be 55 years old now, but I still have the appetite of a rotund 54 year old…

With a sad sigh, I started flipping pages in the regular menu again, all thoughts of discounts fleeing from me…

Sometimes life is just cruel… And some of us are born to lose…

Oh, wait!… There’s more!

I’ve heard there’s a chance I qualify for a discount on my cell phone bill now. IF I can remember to call during regular business hours!

Fat chance of that happening, right?! (Yes, pun intended.)

***** ***** *****

(507 words)

Pssst… Sha’Tara. May I have my author’s license back now?


11 thoughts on “The Senior’s Menu (#BlogBattles – Shift) (Attempt #2)

  1. Hang in there, Lisa. When you hit around 60 you will start using the Seniors’ Discount, and by 65 you won’t be leaving still hungry. In the meantime, eat half what they serve on the regular menu, take the other half home in a doggie bag, and pig out whenever you need to. It’s cheaper than buying off the Seniors’ Menu, and everyone thinks you eat like a bird…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: #BlogBattle Stories: Shift | BlogBattle

  3. S.C. Jensen says:

    I love this piece. Your voice comes through beautifully. Too bad they can’t give you a discount price on the regular menu items. What is the point of restricting the senior’s menu to people over 55 if it’s just smaller portions? It’s not really a discount if they’re giving you less food at the same time. I’m appalled at the prices of food on the children’s menu when I’m out with my family. I usually don’t order anything for myself because I just do cleanup on three kids plates and it costs as must as if I order for myself and they share from mine, haha. Oh well. Fun anecdote, well told. Thanks again!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Smoothly written and quite entertaining! If you hadn’t admitted at the very beginning this was actually a true story, I would have thought it was just a first-person narrative filled with insight and humor. Of course some of the best fiction involves taking events of our lives and twisting them into a cogent story. As an aside, the older you get, the more you smile when the clerk cards you for an alcoholic beverage purchase!

    Liked by 1 person

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