Poetry, Reflections

“Discombobulated…”

And confused…

Out of sync… or even time?

Some moments passing before I can grasp them,

while others simply refuse to move!

Spiritual whiplash… my body aches.

Caused by this stop and go act?

This heavy push forward, pulsing,

while something else holds me back?

I “fail” at everything normal I try,

but “feel” success haunting my steps.

I feel reluctance, resistance…

while the voices are all screaming, “YES!!”…

Frustration boils up, disturbing my peace,

while that deeply calm center still anchors me…

‘Tis no wonder I feel unbalanced these days…

uncertain, bemused and unsure.

Nothing makes sense in a world gone mad…

So I grasp for the truth in a Word:

“Dis-com-bob-u-lat-ed”…

Made up, created, to capture a moment,

comfort found in humor and sound…

 

 

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Reflections, Visions

Answering “the Call”…

BRRRRRIIINNNNNNGGG… BRRRRRIIINNNNNNGGG…

“Hello?”

Hello?!  Can you hear me?

“Yes, I can hear you.  Who is this?”

“Doesn’t matter right now.  Just listen…  Carefully…  To what I’m about to say.”

“Okay.”

“Tread cautiously today…  Watch your steps…  Place each one consciously, paying particular attention to what you are stepping on…”

“Good advice, I guess.  Always.  But is there something specific I should be focusing on?”

“Beware of open doors and planned deceptions; misperceptions are everywhere!”

“Ok, now you’re just starting to sound paranoid…”

“Shhhh!!…  Listen!…  Just listen!”

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Poetry, Reflections, Visions

Shifting Sands…

The world around me is a desert, drowning…

Blood, sweat and tears stain the ground.

I walk slowly, purposefully…

among the shifting sands.

The trees’ roots are strong beneath me, supporting…

granting peace, comfort and stability.

Allowing me to pause and wait, consciously…

when the ground shifts beneath my feet.

And when it has settled once again, temporarily…

I can adapt my course appropriately.

And this… these words… serve not to guide…

nor hamper any progress…

but to remind…

that I am both navigator and traveller.

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Reflections, Visions

“Emma May and Other Stray… Thoughts?”

So…  I’m waking up this morning, knowing that I dreamt, though not having any memory of what that might have been.  It happens that way sometimes – a sense of activity, a stimulated mind, an awareness of thoughts that have failed to stay…

I’m sipping my first cup of coffee, not really focused on anything at all.  And I feel myself slipping into that sacred place, between realms, between worlds, where realities collide and embrace…

I find myself having a conversation, though I have no idea with whom; doesn’t really matter, I guess, or their identity would show through.  I hear myself saying, “Emma May has gotten sooo huge!…”

Yes, I hear that ellipsis ringing in my head; “dot, dot, dot,” like a bell tolling someplace…  It tells me that everything important has been said; everything else in the conversation is extraneous.  Great!  Focus.  Except…

I have no idea who Emma May might be…

“Interesting…,” I think, out loud, maybe.  “But why,” I can’t help wondering?

“Why would that intrigue me at all?”

Because that’s my brain these days, in quiet moments anyway.  Skipping off to who knows where to engage in pointless, mundane conversations with people I don’t know, about topics I’m completely unfamiliar with…  And yet…  It feels so normal!

The trees speak to me as well, when I pass by them on the trail.  Sometimes, lately, they come to me, bringing pictures of a typical day… for them.  I love those visits, when they occur, because they’re less demanding than the human ones.  Yes, it’s true, the trees want something from me, but often it amounts to nothing more than company; I “hear” them, and so they “speak” to me.  Simple, straightforward, honest, and real…

Ahh…  “real”!  I knew there was a point here somewhere.  And now I know…

And a picture drifts across my slowly enlightening mind, while early morning sunshine begins brightening the world outside.  I see a title, complete with quotes…

“Emma May and Other Stray… Thoughts?”

Ahhh, yes.  There you are!  Welcome to my… Reality?  Insanity?  Awareness?  Inanity?

Let me be your bridge today, to that sacred place between.  Where anything can happen.  And very often does.  Where none of it may mean a thing, or All of it may mean something…

You decide…

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Poetry, Reflections

“The Surface of ‘Things’…”

I find my self upon the ocean

far, far from land;

I cannot sense a hint of it,

even far, far beyond.

I’m floating on the surface of things

riding a raft of my own creation,

made up of pieces and parts –

tokens of my own broken past…

know there mustn’t be solid ground near

for no birds fly here,

not even the albatross who often follows me

with his self-destructive tendencies.

But the water is calm today, as am I,

the waves gently rocking…

I lay back, stare at the clear blue sky

and gently drift to sleep…

I dream…

Glancing over the edge of my make-shift raft

I see many glistening beings

swimming just below the surface –

a hint about those “things.”

My thoughts reach deeper still

to where the currents flow,

sensing potential danger (or enlightenment)

in the power of the undertow…

“Is this where tides begin?”

“And change?,” I’m wondering…

“Or merely the point of no return,

when whatever IS just drags you in?”

Deeper still the shadows grow

as even Light begins to hesitate;

“things” there are larger still

and frightening, perhaps, to contemplate…

Beneath them in the ocean’s depth

where Light completely fails,

blindness is a gift, protecting me

from what might be revealed.

But there…

Far, far from the surface,

where the greatest mysteries dwell…

That is where true Power lives…

and breathes…

in the most haunting “things” of All.

But floating on my make-shift raft

upon the surface of things

such power seems much too remote

to ever even touch me.

Until I wake…

To see those blue skies overrun

with storm clouds tall and threatening.

To hear the rumbling thunder

and watch the distant lightning.

To feel the swells begin to rise

as chaos stirs the surface.

To sense the instability

of my raft of broken memories.

Surprisingly, it is not Fear who comes to judge my progress…

Nor a desperate need to act.

Rather, the calm of the ocean I slept on

has strengthened its hold upon me.

And as the storm approaches,

I find my self… wondering…

just what I’ll choose to do

when this fragile raft I’m riding on

dumps me into the surrounding turmoil?…

Will I struggle to remain afloat?

Grabbing pieces of my broken raft,

renewing my commitment here and now

to staying on the surface?

Or will I let my little self go?

Sinking beneath the things

past the glistening beings

to the power far below?

Or maybe…

Perhaps, even…

If I trust my self enough…

You think?

One of those behemoths living in the deep…

Will slowly rise to meet (and greet) me.

And slipping gracefully beneath my feet,

will lift me up, just high enough…

for me to find my wings!

Freeing me at last

from the ocean’s clinging grasp

to fly far, far above

the ever present surface of…

things…

 

 

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Poetry, Reflections, Visions

“Stream of Consciousness…”

I am teetering at the edge of an abyss,

but I do not worry about falling in.

I am standing in a room, watching, as the lights begin to flicker and fail.

Shadows creeping ever closer, my mind alert…

yet my heart no longer fears the coming darkness.

I am wandering through a dream, visiting with real friends,

when, suddenly, they start shouting gibberish at me…

I hesitate, confused, before shrugging and moving on,

understanding that this conversation no longer speaks to me…

I am walking alone in the woods, communing with the trees,

and suddenly realize that animals are now surrounding me.

My mind tells me to be cautious, for these are not domesticated wildlife,

but I cannot fathom them attacking me…

From whence arises such confidence?

To whom should I direct my gratitude?

For these very situations, not so long ago, would have sent me running,

seeking shelter, refuge, sanctuary

from others

who always let me down.

And I feel none of that today…

No fear of what lies before me in my path…

No anxiety or need to see (or know) what is happening all around me…

No concern for my own “safety” in this unknown world.

I trust…

Simply, and purely

I trust…

Whom or What hardly even matters anymore.

Until it does.

I guess I trust myself today…

To maneuver and adapt to wherever my path calls me…

To find my way through whatever darkness settles around me…

To comprenhend truth when it reveals itself to me…

To walk calmly among those seemingly so unlike me, knowing I mean no harm, and so expect none…

I trust myself to do the “right” thing,

instinctively

and not just “right for me.”

If I have lingering resistance within me, it is this:

Frustration.

With those who insist they can be counted on to always do “what is right…

for them”.

A principle for which they offer sound advice, direction, and justification.

It sounds “good”

in theory…

but it still makes me uncomfortable.

know the Universe has my back; so I know I can proceed…

know that I have my own back; so I walk forward confidently.

And I know that the Universe,

and All it holds,

is Me.

I am Its equivalency!

So “doing right” is doing right

without conditionality…

without a conscious separating

of “mine” and “yours”

of “one” and “otherhood”.

Unity.

No “true” duality…

No “real” plurality…

A stream of consciousness

spilling into a river of time

seeking a sea of potential

in an ocean of possibilities.

Deep sigh…

Behold the “Cauldron of Creation”

where I am both Stirrer and Slime,

and the Magick that makes it sublime…

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Conversations, Reflections, Visions

Conversations With… a Stuffed Elephant…?

So, I’m sitting here, in my fevered sickbed haze, minding my own business, mulling over the revelations I’ve had today…  When suddenly I discover I’m having a “conversation.”  Not with the usual participants, mind you; no, this time it’s a small, but adorable, stuffed elephant speaking to me.

Why?  I have no idea!  I don’t even own a stuffed elephant, though I think I would want this one if I did; soft, cuddly, and pale yellow, with a lovely light floral print inside his floppy ears, and along his chest and belly…  He is sitting in a white rocking chair that is several sizes too large for him, all seriousness and sincerity.  I cannot help but laugh at the absurdity of this encounter!  (To which he takes offense, of course!)

Elephant:  You find this amusing, do you?!  Why?  Do I not fit your preconceived notions of sage wisdom?

Me:  Ummm…  Actually…  Well, of course not, you adorable creature!  But that doesn’t mean I won’t talk to you!  In fact, I’m really looking forward to it now…

Elephant:  [trying to hide a grin beneath his oversized trunk…]  And why is that?  Are you willing to take me seriously, or are you merely looking ahead to the many potential opportunities to make fun of me?

Me:  [laughing aloud…]  I don’t need to wait for such opportunities, my friend, as they are abundant and clear from the get-go!  But to answer your other questions, of course I’m willing to take you seriously, and I am grateful to have you here.  My anticipation stems from the unexpectedness of the visit, as well as the form you’ve taken; my experience tells me that such randomness, or blatant distortion of expectation, often leads to “breakthrough” moments, and that is what excites me…

Elephant:  [adjusting the round spectacles he is now wearing more comfortably across a trunk too thick to hold them…]  Well, then.  Let’s get to it, shall we?

[I can only nod, eagerly…]

Your last post had to do with the “axis of power.”  You discussed the Figure-8 Cross in terms of two intersecting paths…

[I nod, somewhat baffled by his desire to bring that up here…]

Yet the picture you later added has three (!) intersecting paths.  Was that a mistake on your part?  Or did you intend to muddy the waters that way?

Me:  Umm…  Neither, actually.  The picture was posted as an attempt to illustrate the discussion.  It just happens to be a more recent model I built (within the last decade) to help me explore the topic.  At the time I was trying to visualize how more figure-8’s (planes of activity) could be incorporated into the model, and I was having trouble doing so.  This physical model forced me to actually make the connections, but I could only physically create the three before it became a hot mess.  Still, it allowed me a little more room to expand my thought process…

Elephant:  And what did your mental model look like when all was said and done?

Me:  It becomes a sphere in the end, created of intersecting figure-8’s that each bisect the Whole.  The outer loops are what give the Sphere its curved shape…

But…  Why is this important?

Elephant:  Hmm… ? [looking up, distractedly, from the notes he has been taking…  Removing his spectacles, he taps them rhythmically against his trunk…]  A sphere, you say?  Now, that’s interesting!

Me:  [confused…]  Ok…  Why?

Elephant:  Now…  Talk to me about those trees!

Me:  The trees?!  What do they have to do with all this?

Elephant:  Well… [shifting in his seat, somewhat annoyed with me]  Indeed what?!…

Do they not possess both vertical and horizontal axis to be explored?  Do they not present a curved canopy to the outside world (more or less anyway, as their trunks hold up their tops, while their roots spread out beneath)?  Have they not been seeking to express themselves in the world in which you live?  Have they not accepted an offer of partnership in moving forward through that world?!

Hmmph!  [Shaking his head, annoyed…]

Sometimes!  I swear!…

[I can only stare at him; I have no coherent response as yet…)

Me:  So… [thoughtfully…]  Is this the point (notice I don’t use “time” here), that we acknowledge the elephant standing in the middle of the room…?

Elephant:  If you insist, of course.  Personally, I never forgot it!

[And winking at me, his image fades…]

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